Greetings, one and all. My name is Biffy, but my Mom calls me The Little Prince. That is why I was so thrilled to discover the Pampered Princes and Princesses Club. It was perfect for one who already claims the title.

I came into my human parents' lives at the age of 5 weeks. I was one of many kittens living in the wild in an old fishing camp. My Mom and Dad decided that, even though I was too young to be taken from my fur mother, I would probably not live long with the wild animals in the woods sniffing around. They took me to their home, Mom fed me from a kitten baby bottle until I was old enough to eat on my own. I began to think of her as my real Mother, nuzzling and pushy-pawing in her neck and purring to the best of my ability.

I am now almost 15 years old and have my loyal subjects wrapped securely around my paws. They hasten to do my bidding, no matter what I may wish for. I receive the best foods, I have the run of the house, sleeping wherever I choose. If I deign to grant them the privilege of warming their laps, they will sit until they absolutely have to move, just to keep from disturbing His Highness. My Mom has actually gotten leg cramps because she wouldn't disturb me.

My favorite trick that I have taught them is to crawl around on the floor looking for my little yarn ball toys. I deliberately hide them under the coffee table, sofa or stove, just so I can watch them grovel at my feet, doing my bidding.

I am the ultimate Pampered Prince. I know it and I love it. And I have trained my loyal subjects to love it too. I grant them purrs and headbonks to keep them wanting to please me.